Have you ever just looked at people and think: " I wonder what they are experiencing right now?" I find myself looking around often and asking myself what is going on in people's life to have them respond in certain ways, OR- have you wondered why people do or act the way they do? Its quite fascinating to me, the only thing we can control in life is how we perceive situations and respond to others, yet, we continually try to change how people are acting and what they are doing in their life with projections of what we think they should be doing. We rarely look at people through the eyes of " what did they experience to give them the lenses that they have now?
We claim to want to help people and yet we do not seek to understand where they are coming from. We begin to see fingers pointing in every which direction and this allows no room for us to genuinely look at ourselves. To understand where a person is you need to understand where they have been and the truth is, that EVERY SINGLE HUMAN has a completely different perspective in life and yet we repeatedly try to force our perception onto others. What is "right" for one isn't necessarily "right" for the other. We place conditions on the love we want to give and think that since people aren't behaving in a way we deem acceptable that those people are undeserving of love and or respect. Do we ever try to look at others as if they were children? How were they treated? How were they loved? Or even more so-were they abused, or sexually assaulted, or did they become another statistic that people try to sweep under the rug? We think people purposely hurt us, or purposely play games with our hearts, or we try to blame others because we feel cheated- but what if we are just young children learning how to live life without ever really being taught what love is, or if we were loved, it was conditional love. The one thing that this comes back to, always, is that when we learn to have compassion and empathy for our younger self we learn how to have compassion and empathy for others. When we judge others, it is because there are things within us that we find unacceptable and quite repelling and therefore other people reflect that on us. Once I learned to go deep back into my childhood I learned the tremendous amount of pain that was still there with that abandoned little girl. There was still a tremendous amount of hate towards how I grew up. Once I came to love that little girl and have empathy for my Mom, who never was unconditionally loved and was also abused, only then could I stop the blame game and harness my story and Love all aspects of my Self and all the experiences that blossomed me into who I am.
By sharing and writing in the most authentic way, I hope that we can look within ourselves and find that you are still that scared child trying to do adult things. This world has never equipped us with tools of nurturing, compassion, empathy, embracing emotions, and harnessing hurts. We were taught to suck it up and keep moving forward. Well, now as a society, we cannot go on any longer in the way that we have. Time is changing and inviting us to stand in our strength through owning the parts we have tried to hide. These hidden parts are wanting to be loved, heard, and seen. Allow the uncomfortable feelings to be a way of knowing that this is self-love. We have become desensitized to the pain and now have not felt for so long that it is truly uncomfortable to allow feelings. Let me reassure you- this is healing for your heart AND it does get easier. Next time you find someone or something unacceptable, ask yourself- what have they been through as a child?